Tom Morris

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The People You're Around

You become like the people you're around.

A man sitting next to me on a plane told me an interesting story. A therapist friend of his asked him to make a chart on a piece of paper. On the left side he was to write:

Physical

Social

Emotional

Financial

Spiritual

Then, he was to draw vertical lines, making five columns to the right of these categories, and at the top of the columns to write the names of the five people he was around the most, but including only one member of his immediate family. Then he was to assess the health of each of these people in each of those categories, writing a brief summary or evaluation, in as few words as possible.

The therapist left him to the task for 20 minutes, then came back in, and read over what he had writen. He then said, "I want you to look over this carefully. You have just predicted your own future. Make sure it's the future you want. Or make the changes you need to make."

I said, "Really? What happened as a result?" 

He said, "The divorce was easy. But ending my business partnership was a lot harder."

I was surprised. We don't always have to take such dramatic steps. But we do need to remember that we become like the people we're around. That can be great. Or it can be scary, depending on who you're around and what you really want to become. We're all in a state of becoming, all the time. Ask yourself this: Am I associating with the right people who will help me to become the person I most want to be?

And if the answer is not a resounding YES, then start making some changes, however small.

Today.